Without Grumbling
It is a troubling realization when we finally see that our deepest desires aren't always pure and our intentions aren't always the best. It is often too easy to sink in to the ways of the world. Why? Because we live in it and its currents tend to tug at our faith. It is so difficult for me to admit how imperfect I am. I like to think I can do anything, though in reality, I know I am utterly powerless. It's only human nature, I suppose, but it serves me nothing to pretend like I know everything.
All this to say that this spring semester has left me utterly tired and worn out. I have studied and worked my energy out and toward the last couple of weeks before finals, my personal devotions that I've always been so fond of, diminished quickly. I became tired and at times, hopelessly unwilling to spend time in the Word and in prayer. Part of me felt angry toward myself about it, but the other part remained foolishly apathetic. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could muster: I spoke to my pastor and poured out my heart. He never put me down or admonished me for being a terrible Christian (as I felt I was being), but rather, he encouraged me to hold fast to God's promises and he listened to my distress. He showed his care for me and I felt so undeservedly loved that my apathy soon turned to gratefulness. Of course, when a godly man is living out God's love, the only thing that comes of it is that the focus is turned to God because He is the source.
I knew the semester was coming to an end and began to worry about what it would be like going back home to my family. At this point in my life, I am very much an example and an encouragement to them and they expect to see faith and hope in me. Times have been hard most of our life, but now perhaps I perceive it more and feel that God is calling me to minister to those at home. Often it is most difficult to minister to those closer to you than to a stranger. Before I left Moody, I spoke to Dr. Sour, my Bible Intro professor and told him my concerns about setting an example to my family when I myself at times found it difficult to seek the Lord through prayer and such. He gave me great advice. He said I need to approach my family in a servant spirit and simply go home and serve them. That, along with the advice from my pastor to re-read Philippians every day has payed off.
I have found not only my love for the scriptures revived, but also found my passion for missions exploding. God is opening the doors and I can't wait to walk through them in His time! I've come to discover that God has constantly been showing me throughout this year that my verse for 2012 is Philippians 2:14-16 and is calling me to do all things without grumbling or questioning that I may be blameless and innocent, a child of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom I shine as a light to the world! Wow, that is an amazing promise, and the best part is that it applies to all of us who have believed in him. Let us lay hold of His great promises and do all things without grumbling or questioning that we might be used by Him!
All this to say that this spring semester has left me utterly tired and worn out. I have studied and worked my energy out and toward the last couple of weeks before finals, my personal devotions that I've always been so fond of, diminished quickly. I became tired and at times, hopelessly unwilling to spend time in the Word and in prayer. Part of me felt angry toward myself about it, but the other part remained foolishly apathetic. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could muster: I spoke to my pastor and poured out my heart. He never put me down or admonished me for being a terrible Christian (as I felt I was being), but rather, he encouraged me to hold fast to God's promises and he listened to my distress. He showed his care for me and I felt so undeservedly loved that my apathy soon turned to gratefulness. Of course, when a godly man is living out God's love, the only thing that comes of it is that the focus is turned to God because He is the source.
I knew the semester was coming to an end and began to worry about what it would be like going back home to my family. At this point in my life, I am very much an example and an encouragement to them and they expect to see faith and hope in me. Times have been hard most of our life, but now perhaps I perceive it more and feel that God is calling me to minister to those at home. Often it is most difficult to minister to those closer to you than to a stranger. Before I left Moody, I spoke to Dr. Sour, my Bible Intro professor and told him my concerns about setting an example to my family when I myself at times found it difficult to seek the Lord through prayer and such. He gave me great advice. He said I need to approach my family in a servant spirit and simply go home and serve them. That, along with the advice from my pastor to re-read Philippians every day has payed off.
I have found not only my love for the scriptures revived, but also found my passion for missions exploding. God is opening the doors and I can't wait to walk through them in His time! I've come to discover that God has constantly been showing me throughout this year that my verse for 2012 is Philippians 2:14-16 and is calling me to do all things without grumbling or questioning that I may be blameless and innocent, a child of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom I shine as a light to the world! Wow, that is an amazing promise, and the best part is that it applies to all of us who have believed in him. Let us lay hold of His great promises and do all things without grumbling or questioning that we might be used by Him!
