Love Grace

     Life moves quickly; the older you get, the faster it moves, or so it seems. Life comes at you fast. Sometimes we wonder why we get up and do what we do, why we try, why we keep going, when life is so overwhelmingly running us over. Routines, requirements, deadlines, chores, desires, expectations, dreams, and decisions crowd our minds and our schedules. Life is overwhelming, if not always, almost always. There are times when things look so dark that the only way out might seem to be to "unplug the chord." The grind and tug-of-war between what we want and what we must, tears at our hearts so strongly that we hope for it all to simply be over.      I've been there; in fact, I'm there now, and often am. That is life: struggling between stress and hope. It is at that point, where I find myself most vulnerable; most insignificant and powerless. But it is also at that point, where there is no longer anywhere left to run and I must face reality. I can't hide ...

How can it be that two opposite passions could rage within my soul? I love and I hate; I'm free and I'm bound. This wretched heart, it holds life and it holds death. It pumps to give my body health, but it sins to enslave my soul to evil. O, that I could pluck out all it's evil, all it's hatred, all it's sin. My flesh and soul they battle day and night; there is not rest within me whatsoever. O, that I could die to all my sin, my flesh. I am disgusted by my sin. I am full of sin, I cannot bear. Perfection mocks me, for I cannot reach it. I am alone in a dark desert and I cannot find a place to rest. Sleep has escaped me and I fear it won't return. O, that I could but change the things in me, the way I am. But lo, I'm far too weak, far too slow and far too vulnerable to speak. I am the worst of humans; I am not worthy of anything. I am not worthy of being warmed by the morning sunlight, or to be cooled off by the evening night fall. There is nothing on this e...

Blessings to all of you, I can hardly believe how long it has been since my last update blog. I have not written in over 5 months. My apologies for the extended delay. This past spring, I began my first college semester in Tyler. It was a great blessing to study there and be a part of the college ministry as well. Words are not enough to explain in detail the wonderful work of the Lord in the lives of the students who have been transformed by His great love. I took 6 classes and finished them all with A's and B's. This summer I have already completed "contemporary math 1" and have begun "contemporary math 2". I have signed up for fall classes as well. As for next spring, I am not positive of what great things God has in store, but I have considered going to Moody Bible Institute. I have already completed and submitted my application and now I am waiting and praying for the results. If God wishes to take me there, He will provide, but if His ...

Dear friends and family, I am happy to report that I am now officially enrolled for classes at the Junior College here in Tyler, Tx. I have been reading every college material I can get my hands on to educate myself about scholarship/grant opportunities. Going to a junior College will lower my expenses and will make it easier for payments to be completed. I know for sure that I can at least make it through my first semester, debt-free. I will get awarded with a Pell grant from FAFSA, which will cover the cost of tuition, fees, and books. If the grant is sufficient, which I trust the Lord it will be, I will also be able to buy a much needed laptop! So, praise the Lord for this. I thank each and every one of you that have spent time in prayer for me about going to College. You are all very special to me, and I am so glad that God has placed you in my life; things would not have been the same without you. You are, indeed a person of great value to me. May the Lord hear you, and grant you ...

Last week, on Monday, my cousin asked me, "So, what do you want for Christmas?" I gave her an "I don't know" look and said, "Nothing, I guess" so she left me alone. On Tuesday, my brother asked me, "What are you getting mom for Christmas?" And I said, "Nothing, I guess". On Wednesday after I finished bathing my dog, I asked her, "You think I should get anybody anything for Christmas?" and she shook her whole body to dry off, "Yeah, I guess your right" I said. On Thursday I went for a walk and one of my neighbors sitting out on their porch waved at me wishing me a Merry Christmas and said, "Are you going anywhere special for Christmas?" I was surprised by the question, but answered simply, "No. Nowhere special, I guess" and I walked on. Friday, I got a Christmas card in the mail from a good friend that read, "Dear Ruth, I hope you are well. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you...

Friends and family, It seems, that it has been quite a long time since my last update. Some of you may know, that I have been living in Tyler since May of this year. It has been a hard time, money-related, and in the arena of making decisions! I had been putting off this update, because I was at a loss of what to share with all of you. I felt a bit bewildered and confused. And even though, I still do, I know, that I know, that I am secure in Him whom I have trusted! "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come... can separate us from the love of God..." Romans 8:38-39 Isn't God just amazing? Okay, back to my update: In June, I took my GED... and then I took the SAT. The GED was pretty easy and I did alright... but the SAT was a tad bit harder and didn't so well... I did a tad bit lower that I was supposed to! But still, I applied for college and submitted my scores, they did recommend ...

O, Lord... my heart sinks... lift me to your bosom that I may feel your warm embrace. O, Abba, Father... my heart cries out to you in great despair. O, Jesus... that I could be like thee, that I could by like thee. I shed a tear, or perhaps a few... no... I weep, holding my hand over my wounded heart, and lift my head up to the heavens and cry Abba, Abba... Father, Lord, Healer, I need thee, every hour I need thee. My sins O Lord are great... you know my thoughts... I bring them before you, that you may judge them all... and forgive my grieving soul. No, for tomorrow, I shalt not boast, but for today, O, Lord I see you most! Forgive me, Lord, for once again I gave my heart to one less worthy, and now it's you the One who gathers it's broken pieces to restore it back to life. Forgive me, Lord, I disregarded your wonderful, amazing, warm embrace. I passed you by, and looked away... but you knew my heart and followed me, looking into me, calling me, and comforting my soul, when I ...

Friends, family, and loved ones... I want to share with you a prayer I wrote on Friday. Enjoy, and let the words sink in, finding meaning in every line. God bless you all! O, Lord, your thoughts from me are hidden Your wisdom, Lord, I seek and hunt after I plead at her door for understanding Your footsteps, Father, I have tried to find But the sand was soft and the waters covered them I've retraced my own steps to find the way, But alas, O, Lord, my heart weeps within me For my soul fears I am lost forever God of my forefathers, see my great despair And tend to my distress, anoint my wounds My weary body faints, so at your feet I lay You clothe me with righteousness and Grace My heart you have bound with truth and love O Lord your face I long to see and contemplate Your knowledge I treasure up within me Mine eyes are awake, your great wonders to behold Your Glory, a vastness unfathomable to me Grant me, Lord, even the slightest step toward understanding, for your wisdom, L...

Greetings to All! I will not attempt to fill you in with all that has passed since I last wrote, for it has been too long. But allow me to encourage your faith in the Lord! Many a time, have I taken God for granted. Many a time, have I failed to remember, sunk into the pit of forgetfulness, and fallen into a routine that thus led my eyes off the Mark. Perhaps I was too busy, perhaps I was too lazy, perhaps I was too proud, perhaps I was too shy. But be it that I showed my face, or that I hid away, God has always found me back! Hence I have sought again the flow of living water and the Words of life… and in a new light, have seen all things bright. Too many things in life have occupied the place of God… and too many times have I fallen short of Christ. All the things I strive for, are in vain… they are worth nothing… yet in Christ, they are WORTH it ALL. So I’ve filled my mind with ALL of him, my heart rejoices in his glory, and my life blooms with all of His perfect...

Hello friends and family, God is great. So much has happened this week since my last update, one of which was a mission trip we went to. God has been working still in the lives of the indians of Yospi, here in Queretaro. Mary, Jim, and I had the privelege of visiting the Otomi people last Saturday, 14th of March. I had trouble getting to the internet which explains the tardiness of my update, but thank God that He is still doing a great work and extending Himself in each of us. The new Christians that continue to place their trust in God are planning new revival meetings and other activities to minister to the rest of the village. Also, another great thing, is that God has allowed me to live another year in His love and grace. My birthday was this past Monday, 16 of March. I didn't plan much for that day because I was thinking about celebrating my B-day when my brother Shem comes to visit us in April. I know its a long time to wait, but I really think it's worth it! Okay... I p...

Blessings to all! I'm glad to report that I'm alive and well and back home again. We arrived on friday night at 8:30. The journey went well, but Jim was feeling very sick. He had a terrible cough and was very tired. We also got a bit lost in Guadalajara but not for too long! Last week was a great blessing. I was able to pray for lots of people. One of the best nights was the last night I was there. Thursday night we went to a camp (camp Calamato) where there were only young men and a few coulples, but no kids! So when we invited the men to accept Jesus in their hearts, many people came to pray. It was a wonderful time. The people were so needy and the Lord began to fill the camp and I am certain that He is still working in their lives. I encouraged them to get together to read the Bible and pray and worship. They said they would and I am just leaving it all in God's hands. Please continue to pray for the people at the camps in Culiacan, because even if we are not there, the...

This past week was an awesome time in the Lord. I was placed in a new team because most of the other people left and I really enjoyed this new team! We had a wonderful time singing, sharing the love of Christ and just being with the people. Here is a picture of my new team but the driver is missing. His name is Mike Hendricks but I have another picture of him down below. Our team leader is Damaris, the one in the purple shirt and dark skirt. She's so fun to work with! But she had to leave this morning, so I think we'll be getting another team leader. In this picture, Mike is in the middle of two young men who are praying and fasting for a revival at the camps where they live. Their camp is called "cinco"but that night they went to the one we were in, "caimanes" those camps are close to the beach, so we went on wednestay and stayed at the beach three nights and headed back on saturday afternoon. This takes a long time to load pictures so I'm not going to ...

This past week in Culiacan has been a great blessing. The first two days we spent a whole lot traveling to be able to get to a camp and that was exhausting! Then on Wednesday I was able to speak to several girls and pray for the people. It was a nice time in the Lord. God blessed the people and the team also. On thursday I stayed behind to pray and God really just used me and all the other 4 who stayed. He spoke to us through verses and visions. The great thing is that While I was reading in Exodus I think, about how God promises to send his angle before us, when the teams got back they told us they had seen a cloud in shape of an angel and they took a picture but whoever took it did not want to let me download it... but if I can get her to let me, I will next week. Then on Friday, two teams got together, mine and another and we had already gotten into the camp, but after a while, the owner arrived and kicked us out. So we left as quickly as we could so we could get started on another...

CULIACAN PROJECT: During the last 19 years, Gospel Recordings, Mexico (GRM) has lead Culiacan Project, an outreach for indigenous people who come from the 24 states of the Mexican Republic. We have the blessing of projecting a Jesus film and distribute Cd's or tapes with recodings of the gospel for the families that go live there. Culiacan has become a dangerous and violent place. During the last weeks, several people have been kidnapped and killled. Before deciding to hold the project again this year, the GRM team have spent time in prayer, seeking God's confirmation and guideance. You, as a participant will only be with us for a short time in Culiacan but the members of the GRM team will be staying there for a longer period of time (children and all). -from the Director of the Culiacan Project, David Gutierrez. If you wish to have more information visit http://www.bnmexico.com/html/english.html or write to; info@bnmexico.com , gerrygtz@hotmail.com Thanks you all! If you wis...

Okey Dokey... Hello all! It's been a long 3 weeks since Mom and Enoch arrived. Enoch has been doing great in school and I have been helping him out. I haven't started my nutrition club yet because I have been really busy with other things... but I am hoping to start today and then leave it with mom. I have amazing news!!! I am going to Culiacan! Brother Jim is going in his jeep and so I will be going with him. We leave this Friday (Feb/6/2009). I don't have fund up until now, but by the grace of God, I'm stepping out in Faith. As of today, I only have 100 pesos, which is ten U.S. dollars. The total cost of my stay there is 1000 pesos which is 100 dollars... and I am sure I will need to have some gas money too, for the Jeep. Anyway, I hope you all are great, and know that you will be praying for me. God bless you!

Hello all... Hope you are enjoying the new year and the renewed blessings in Christ. Mom and Enoch arrived on Sunday at 8 pm. They are happy to be home. Enoch will begin home school on Monday and I am so excited to be able to help him out. I will begin working at home with a nutrition club and mom is looking forward to selling wood with my grandpa. There is a great probability that my brother Shem might come to Mexico because he has had bad toothaches and needs dental care as quickly as possible but it is very costly in the U.S and cheeper here in Mexico. So please pray for that, so that whatever does happen, that he can get his dental care done soon. Also pray for a Mission that is held every February in Culiacan. My aunt Noemi is involved with the Good News Recordings which are the ones that take that trip to Culiacan every year. Please pray that I may also be able to go... since I do not have the funds to go on that trip. Okay.... take care, God bless yo...

Happy New Year to all!! May the Lord bless you and your family in a special way to begin this year... and may He double it to end 2009!! My parents are still in the States, but mom and Enoch will hopefully come back soon. My brother Sam has become cold and lonely... please pray that the Lord grab his full attention this year and that He will use my brother to bring others to Himself. Shem hasn't had much work lately, and I suppose many people have had the same problem, but I don't see why the son of God has to go through that... so I want to ask for prayer about that too! Lately, I haven't heard much from Dad but last thin I knew, God is using him to reach prisoners to him since he's working at a prison. I am so glad that God is working through him. I know that my daddy's heart is right where God places him... and I knew that he wasn't enjoying his previous work as much as he is now... although God has always managed to use him but I really th...

Dear people, Thank you for your continuous prayers and for keeping up with the latest news. I have not been writing much lately, mostly because these past few weeks, life has been exceedingly busy for me. There have been many things going on! I didn’t even get to talk about Thanksgiving, we had an amazing meal at home and gave thanks, it was really a beautiful time with the family and a few guests we invited. It is always a wonderful time to think about all the miracles and blessings God has given us throughout the year. I think the most wonderful blessing I could ever think of is my family. And I’m sure there must be another million things I am thankful for. Anyway, On Saturday I went on a trip to YOSPI, AMEALCO. Some church members from San Luis Potosi took some gifts for the children of the church in Yospi. Brother Jim took us in his Jeep along with Brian who is in Mexico taking spanish. Mary organized the trip and my aunt Neomi came with us too. Yesterday night we went to an awesom...

Hello friends, family, and other amazing people! Up until now, Daddy is still working at the prison but is looking for a car that is not expensive and not too old! Mom is currently in Wheaton, IL. visiting my brother Sam. Shem hasn’t had much work, so please keep him in your prayers. Next week end, on the 14th of this month, Mary, brother Jim and I will be making another trip to Yospi. We’ll be visiting the folks there, whom we miss a great deal and hope to spend a good two days in the Lord with them! Please pray for that trip to be a blessing, the funds and safety for all. Another thing I had been thinking about is Halloween. I know we’re in November already but too many questions came up about it. Questions like: Should Christians celebrate Halloween? Or is it Christ-like to go trick-or-treating? Or should we dress up in costumes? And I don’t know about you all… But I have never in my whole life been trick-or-treating, I’ve never wished to celebrate Halloween just to ...

Well, Hello every one! Some days, I get disapointed about my blog, because rarely is it viewed and when it is, I lack the knowledge of it. Other days, I even forget about my blog. So I want to encourage every one that knows me and/or visits this blog, to keep visiting it and to let me know and send a short email or something... it doesn't have to be long! Here is an update from my Aunt Mary from an email she sent: "I want to let you know that I am still working in the “day center” (where we help children that are in danger of becoming “street kids”). Every day is a spiritual war, so I ask for your prayers. This Monday when we were going to take the children to their school, two of the 6-year olds, crossed the street on their own, withouth listening to the instructions given to everybody to cross together. God protected them from a terrible accident. But I felt very weak after that, from the dread I had felt. But thank God I am better now. And we have taken new measures of prev...